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Can children who are
never exposed to stress
grow up to be strong
individuals? Not really,
says psychologist and
researcher Oddgeir
Friborg.
In a world where everyone is focused on
the negative aspects of stress, psychologist
Oddgeir Friborg takes an opposite view. He
believes that stress is healthy, especially for
children.
"Everyone needs to experience stress. This
is how we learn to solve challenges, build
knowledge and acquire new skills. Chil-
dren should also be allowed to experience
stress," says Friborg, who is an associate
professor of psychology at the University
of Tromsø. Friborg has a PhD in resilience
(psychological resistance) with a focus on
factors that protect and promote mental
health. He believes children today are too
sheltered by their parents.
"You can compare stress to vaccines that
provide resistance. As long as the stress is
within the range that one can tolerate, it
can be considered healthy," he says. Friborg
calls some of today's parents "curling
parents", meaning that parents sweep away
the obstacles facing their children. He be-
lieves this is an unfortunate trend, because
he believes that children need to encounter
opposition and hurdles in the way ahead.
Important to push kids
"If, for example, children are shy or timid
and don't want to join other children at
play, they need to be pushed in a suppor-
tive, but authoritative way. Parents cannot
do everything for their kids. If children
learn at an early age to overcome their shy-
ness, they will develop self-confidence and
a feeling that they can cope with different
social situations," he says.
"Parents are also afraid to let children fight.
If children quarrel with friends or siblings,
it is best to let them fight. Let the children
themselves try to solve their conflicts,
because they will grow as a result of the
experience," he says.
"There is also talk that children who do not
like to speak in front of their peers should
Photo:colourbox.com
Stress
is good for children
30
•••
Labyrint E/11
– University of Tromsø
Text:
Elisabeth Øvreberg